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"When she is ready, and in the ways she wants, I will bring to the Mother the healing power of my true Light, the Light of love, understanding and acceptance. As you and I work together on your awakening to Self, I hope you'll also choose to work with me in helping to heal the gap between the Mother and me.
"I must point out that it is your choice. Free will would be meaningless if you didn't have this choice. I also want to say that whatever you choose is the right choice for you in that time, and I will always support you in it.
"You will heal yourself as you learn to channel my Light through yourself to the parts of the Mother in you that need it. As you heal yourself, you will help heal the rest of Creation. And just as I am within you, so is the Mother. You can know my presence within as your aspirations, your thoughts and ideas. You can know the Mother's presence within as your desires, your feelings, emotions and will. The name I know her by best is 'Desire'.
"Illness, suffering and even death are the result of the harm that has come to Desire, to true feelings and emotions. You have inherited, as have all beings in Creation, the original imprints caused by the hostile light that is still trapped in the Mother.
"For a long time after the Mother and I became aware of each other, I blamed her for the bad feelings I sometimes got from her. I wasn't yet aware of her imprints or that my Light had caused them. Neither of us knew that the bad feelings about seemingly innocent things I did were caused by something that stirred her imprints. In modern psychological terms, 'She was triggered by my behaviors which caused a reenactment of the circumstances of her original trauma.' And what has happened between the Mother and me is still happening now inside of you.
"For a long time after I became aware of the Mother's deep imprints and that she was damaged by them, I still blamed her for them. I couldn't remember doing anything to her and I felt that it must have been someone else who did this, no doubt Lucifer.
"Most of the messages I have sent so far through my prophets, teachers and channelers have been skewed by the blame I had for the Mother. Patriarchy and prejudice against women are reflections that still remain of my original blame. Without going into the details now, suffice it to say that the least serious thing I did was to ignore her. More serious things included banishing her from heaven and ostracizing and humiliating her in front of all the beings we had created together.
"The worst thing I did was to turn the other way as my denied power took the form of Lucifer and mercilessly tortured her in a place that can only be called Hell. You may be thinking that surely God could not have done these things. I know now that I did do these things, although for a long time I was in denial of it.
Apology to the Mother
"Because I am no longer denying it, I can heal it. And this is my intention. The road thus far has been long and twisted, with many false starts and dead ends. Now that the truth of what has happened is exposed, I will never again be able to go into denial about these things. I will never again turn away from the Mother or her pain. The road ahead is quite different than where we've been so far in Creation. The new road begins here.
"There are no words adequate to convey the depth of my sorrow for what my bad light has done to the Mother. I can only express this in Creation and specifically in the ways that I make it up to her. Until now, Creation has been God's thing. The Mother's role was either ignored or minimized.
"I begin my apology here with this message to the Mother, 'I am sorry I used my power to protect and glorify myself at your your expense. I know now that you never meant me any harm and that what I saw as ugly in you was my own reflection. I understand now that the true power and glory of Creation is in your Desire. I am now ready to fulfill the promise I first made to you. I now make it so that your Desire is my will. I'm sorry I took so long to get that right. And I will demonstrate my seriousness and sincerity to you beginning now.'
"This is the end of the first lesson in this class. I have much more to say about the Mother and me, and in other lessons I will share some practical methods that will make it easier to do the healing work I've begun to describe here. In the meanwhile, I would like you read the page on releasing judgments. Also, recommended reading for this class is Right Use of Will by Ceanne DeRohan."
Channelers' note: There is a separate page about Right
use of Will with links to an ongoing discussion of the material.