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I have just finished going over the recently posted "Healing the Invisible You" material and I must tell you that through it I experienced a greater catharsis than through many powerful events I have personally lived. My body got to utter some totally new and unfamiliar sounds... and I sobbed like a baby... in fact I did a half box of Kleenex worth of sobbing...
And I feel that I am not finished with it... for I shall go back and seek out every pain and every sorrow and every burden and every joy and bring them out to God and have His Light fill the space I will have thus opened. Thank you..... and please convey my infinite loving thanks to the contributor of that material. I feel that the experience that you and the contributor in question are providing for us is ineffable and of greater magnitude and import than we can imagine.
Sorry for the crude words..... I feel words are completely inadequate here..... If you tune into the spaces between the words you will receive that which I wish to convey. Infinite Blessings and Love to you all.
Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!!!!!
I was unknowingly preparing myself for this experience in the weeks just prior to its being posted, and the timing could not have been better for me.
All the feelings that have been reverberating through me were there, so vividly expressed, so clear, like someone had gone through all the messed up stacks of paper on my desk, and sorted them into some semblance of order for me to experience. You are a miracle worker.
I was having trouble moving my deep hatred and rage at God, because it made me feel lost in the gap between us, unable to feel His loving presence in my despair. Your words have given me the perspective I have needed to move these most deeply denied emotions into healing.
Ten days ago I spent an entire day moving these gapped feelings in the presence of unconditional love. Knowing with my mind that God was there for me was not helpful, when my own judgments were keeping me from moving what needed to move.
The first judgment I encountered was my feeling that God must be really sick to want to hear my tortured pain expressed. Since I was allowed to make no sounds when I was first tortured, it seemed a cruel and perverted wish to hear all that wretchedness come from my mouth and see my body contorted and twisted again in all the ways that were forced on me, and that I somehow managed to survive. It felt like asking me to relinquish the one shred of dignity I had managed to wrap myself in, like giving up the tattered and torn bit of covering I had left after all that humiliation, and exposing my nakedness, my poor, damaged, and bleeding body and emotions to more contempt. To move feelings at such a level did not seem possible to me. And I hated God for asking it.
I wrestled with this judgment for quite a while until it became clear to me that it was not my will that felt this way. It was my spirit. My spirit that has been on this trip with my will from the beginning of my life, and never once happy about it. But one thing that my spirit can do is understand. And, plainly, to get these awful painful feelings to move out, to transform, to free up will essence that was dead from having to hold this stuff, allowing it to move in the ways it needed to was the most responsible and loving thing to do. So I composed a symphony of pain and torture.
Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you. This description of moving feelings, of composing the feelings into sounds and movements of what is triggered in me that can convey it to spirit, so that spirit can feel what it needs to feel in response to the will has opened up my process into a living, moving, free form composition that has no beginning and no end.
The moaning and groaning that spirit thought was undignified is part of my vocabulary now. Every little twinge has a voice and a song to sing. How much was held back out of fear of being noticed! Fear of being inappropriate. How often we kill the feelings that are trying to save our lives out of a sense of good manners, polite presentation... looking good!
PHFAUGHHHHHHHH! How good can something look when it is twisted up inside, in excruciating pain, and not allowed to even make a peep about it?
We continue the tortures of the mother and of her heart every minute of every day that we don't allow them to speak their pain, and be relieved... comforted... healed.
Body also has many things to express, and pain to be healed. Each one of these pains can be expressed as feeling to the Love of God, and healed, finally.
Healing the Invisible You has opened a floodgate of feelings inside of me. You want clear instructions? Oh my God it is so clear here. I feel such great love and tenderness, gratitude and awe for this gift of Love, from Love, through Love. To the contributor I want to say again...
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I have felt a great infusion of love and light since the other day, and I know that I was able to move a thick and very old layer of decomposing will into new life within me. I know there is still more to save, and look forward eagerly to feeling the stirrings of new life within, as another layer readies itself to move. I want nothing more now than to feel as much as possible and to give full voice to the expression of these feelings... for the life that fills me in the process is what I have ever sought... and each step of the way now gets easier because of the help and encouragement of those willing to share their love through EXPRESSION.
Thank you GodChannel for providing a home for the expression of such love and wisdom to come forth and bless the world.
And to the contributor... WELCOME HOME.
Thank you for your latest information titled "Healing The Invisible You". We will make sure that all of our students, past and present, receive a copy of all six parts of the material. My husband and I felt compelled to read every bit of it. We are still moving with it.
The majority of our students are Ronaloka and appreciate hearing from The Mother. It is very apparent to us that your work and our school are parts of the healing process. We encourage you to continue giving voice to the Mother, Spirit, Heart and Body.
I just read part one of Invisible You. There is no way in the world that I can express at the level of these people. I feel hurt and sad for the girl who thinks about being a prostitute. "Don't do it! Just find someone and give them your feelings, I don't think that you should even ask them, just do it. I am tired myself of all of the heartless reflections where giving up and trying both feel the same to me.
I want new connections but my fears and insecurities always stop me. Help us... help all of us before we all die, maybe in the next war or whatever else comes our way. I think that we all need to wake up from this horrible nightmare and start helping one another and stop conforming to the ways that most people conform to when they reach a certain age, which happens to be for me a very long time ago.
I don't feel very private here in digital land but maybe it all needs to be, maybe it's time that everything comes out in the open. I miss earlier years of my life, the fun and freedom that I once had, people to go out with and do things with, where are you people now? I need you now before I am dead!