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Heart Pages Heart Pages Guide
Finally, it wasn't my prayer or meditation,
- not fasting or practices or frowning concentration,
- not spiritual exercise or breathing through my feet.
- Finally, it was the way the sunlight fell upon the car seat
- that coaxed me to allow you to enter in my eyes.
- Normally so guarded, closed and shy,
- my sudden invitation to you came as such surprise.
- Yet there I found your loving in the place behind my eyes.
- Not knowing what I wanted to, or might have liked to feel,
- I let you catch me off my guard behind the steering wheel.
- It was your bright love-clouds I drew into my heart.
- Informed by loving light, I felt myself a star,
- an inverted triangle rising to invite
- your pyramid of loving cascade, kissing me with new sight.
- Of my breast you made adoring pink desire.
- I felt my joy-snake squirm around your tender fire.
- Moving down, down into my stomach-heart, down into my gut,
- gratefully, lusciously opening at your loving touch.
- Down, down, love opening my opening love, out my opening place, down,
- joyously, ecstatically through my legs into the ground.
- I wanted to call it loving lust, but that did not sound right
- to describe your love-opening of me.
- "Yes, yes" was not enough to contain it most completely,
- so I tried to say, "Oh, God" but that was a title, too formal,
- like 'Captain', and not the way I felt,
- so I said, "You, you" but that was too dividing, too split,
- so I cried, "We, us, our!" but even that didn't fit.
- "Love, love" came closer as I drank you without shame.
- Your love-sun in my sky, I found your secret name
- (which means, that-close-to-me)
- and blessed you, "I, I, I..."
- I am coming home
Home to my home in me
Old intimidating forms remain
- Only as whispering shouts now - powerless
- At last I can sense that I am the power here - ("I am right aren't I?")
- Falteringly yet irrevocably & with increasing grace of balance - yet clumsy
- as this sentence still,
- Claiming my power and responsibility
- For my manifest me, my Body, sensed, felt, thought about, danced, stilled,
- moved, vibrating in sound and light, called, responsive, healing, youthing
- New sense of the Father of manifestation in me
- Building, guiding me, in friendship & love
- Towards moving the terrified rage, the raging terror
- Arising as I sense the Presence of my True Heart's Desire
- Lusting, longing in adoration even worship of her
- Is this the final recognition?
- I've fooled myself with false true-loves
- So many times before - and even they were true in their times
- This is the time, the weekend, all signs point to now
- I recognize her in me already
- Bravely, truly, seeking to stay in balance
- Approaching her in trepidation.......
- Only Now will tell
- Unfolding through true, healing cycles, rhythms of time
- Enveloping us in the bumpy turbulence of our re - membering joy
- At finding our lost-selves at long lost last.....
- This my awakening dream - expressed
- As I perceive it unfolding in my life, in me - subtly
- Yet with increasing intensity;
- Not that I couldn't deny it like before, if I wanted to
- Just that, what with it manifesting all around me n'all
- Still somewhat subtly, but with increasing definition
- I no longer want to
- I have chosen to live
New Heart's Beloved
- I feel your Winks from deep in me
- Reflecting in my eyes, I see
- You have found Her where She is me
- Thank you Beloved Grandfather
- Now together, We Manifest
- Heal the Whole for All Be Blessed
- As New Heart's Desire Express
- Thank you Beloved Grandmother
- I remember who I was
- And who I am now, yes because
- I am you Here and you are Love
- Thank you Original Heart
- Now together, We Parenting
- Will end all pain death suffering
- To Dance the Beauty Healed-Whole Sings
- Thank you Beloved Body
I stand alone in a void
Brimming to the rim with feelings.
From the soles of my feet
To the top of my head
Beams of energy surge through me.
A single spotLight slices
Through the abyss on the stage of life.
I stand just behind the white gold Light
Trembling imperceptibly with fear.
I move to the Light
And I step in
Making it clearly apparent
I am wearing my Heart not just on my sleeve.
Nearly mummy-wrapped in shimmering emerald green
Only my slumped over shoulders are bare.
As I pull my lowered head up to gaze beyond my tiny space,
I note a sea of colors visibly surrounding me-
Brilliant Reds, Oranges and Yellows
Bright Blues, Indigos and Purples.
Each one pulsing and quivering
Just on the verge of vibrating their wholeness.
I withdraw to my inner side
Touching an array of denied feelings,
Remembering instantly why I am here
I do have an assignment.
From the depths of my soul
Stir emotions deeply hidden within.
They must have expression
Of this I am certain,
Although something in the darkness
Seems to want to hold me back from allowing them to move.
An urgency comes up and I grab on with tenacity to my intent,
Then I call in support from the Originating Source
For She holds the power to break me free from that something in the darkness.
In an instant with firm resolve as my companion
My lips part slightly and a breath escapes.
As my mouth opens with courage
My song flows upward and outward.
And though there are no words
It manages to touch a place of stark sadness
And represents a grief unexpressed up until now.
As the song expands from a low moan to a vociferous howl
I am joined first by a whimper that then crescendos
To a harmonic wail bursting forth from that ocean of color
Just beyond my reach.
Time stands still while the mood becomes intense.
When the final note is uttered
I am covered in a golden hued green
My shoulders no longer slumped but now straight.
I note the colors just beyond me
Now vibrating in near fullness
Glimmering on the outside
With a golden halo cloaking each of them.
I sense we are now united by a new revelation
Because my feelings tell me so.
We have just unlocked a special door
Where within lies more deeply buried emotions,
Those of rage and anger.
Because we just sang a chorus of release
We are free to take another step to freedom.
So, as we descend to begin moving the rage and anger
In much the same way we just moved the sadness and grief,
FinallyI accept my assignment with joy and less fear,
Viewing it as an evolving journey
To an extraordinary healing
That emerged from my Heart
Stirred by the remembrances of leading that emotion-expressed first
Heart Pages Guide
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