Heart Pages Guide
Response to Charcoal
Queen of the Rainbow
this is in response to "cinderella
and the dark wizard". but i triggered my own gap; none
of you are to blame.
a bucket of tears are my thanks to you for
all your efforts.
and it just goes on and on and on? now i feel
obligated to put myself through every torturous hell she has
been through, is it guilt? it could be something else. but how
can i get her out of this cycle of denied life, decay and death?
because now i have joined her in it. i could abandon her, sure,
i could. but what sort of son would i be?
now she is degrading, refusing she says to
change. should i just leave her here/ there are two ways i could
go, i could suicide and leave her here to mourn and curse her
fate as she does every day, or i could just move away and deny
her that way, leaving her here to curse me, curse my brother
and my father and maybe even god. am i supposed to follow her
i must find a way to not deny her, and yet
not follow her into the hell she seems to think is her only recourse.
and this is my mother i am talking about here. talk about fragments
all you like; she is the mother i have known all my life. she
has cursed me for as long as i can remember hearing words, but
there is always a way, right?
she oppresses me because she is oppressed,
she sees no other way. i forgive and forgive and she curses me
again, more vilely and insistently. the curses grow blacker and
more foul, they stick and i find myself doing things i cannot
control, after someone curses me for twenty five years...
if she were the only one? now i hear the mother
warriors for what they are! it seems almost as if the war never
ended. the father warriors are obvious, they are in the news
driving armies toward their deaths on various battlegrounds.
the mother warriors are there too, spitting out curses, i have
felt them and fended their worst attacks, they redouble and come
back harder. i am even beyond requesting health, every day feels
like it may be my last, it gets harder and harder.
this is not a channeling, this is straight
from my heart
...another charcoal son
Response to Charcoal Son
- Charcoal Son - I hear what you say, and I
also feel the Mother's side of it. She is angry, she has every
right to be angry, I feel and understand and acknowledge her
anger and pain. You talk about forgiveness like she has done
something to be forgiven for. You talk about forgiveness like
you have the right to forgive her.
- You talk about forgiveness while denying
the part you play in putting her in hell in the first place.
What is forgiveness? To the Mother it means, "You've done
something that I have judged as wrong, and therefore you are
wrong, but that's okay, I release you from the karma of that."
- Forgiveness has no place in the Mother's
healing. In fact, it further increases her pain.
- Compassion must replace forgiveness for there
to be healing. Compassion comes from understanding. Once true
understanding comes, judgment, blame, and therefore forgiveness
have no space in which to exist. True understanding begets true
compassion. Healing begins here.
- I doubt very much whether she wants you to
follow her into hell and suffer the tortures that she has suffered.
It has been my experience that the parts of her most deserving
of compassion are the parts that are the most capable of showing
compassion. Her compassion is the biggest and most beautiful
thing there is. I've seen it. It's a measure of her greatness,
that she has this compassion after all she's been through.
- Charcoal Son, I urge you to sit down with
her, to ask her how she feels, to ask her what makes her feel
that way. Suspend judgment. Let her know that you understand
her feelings. She's not wrong, and her feelings are not wrong.
They just are. Let her know you love her.
I strongly suspect that this is what she wants.
It's what I want.
Our Ark continues to be built,
- In secret of course
- with hands of love and patience,
- In the materials of the salvation
- of our lives
- that we cannot see,
- Only feel and sense.
- The seeds are all planted.
- Now we water them,
- send our dearest nurture
- to their little Heartlings' sweet unfoldment,
- Held in the Wombed soil
- Warmed and weeded
- by the Highest of the High
- We see not the shoot nor the flower
- But the food is the Best There Is.
- The Gardeners grow a future
- of ecstatic harvest
- Where none has ever been.
- Feel the movement in the ground.
- The ground of Body.
- Look for the green
- It is coming up.
Queen of the Rainbow (Dying on the Floor)
- Left unsaid, left unsung
- Out in the cold on the bottom rung
- Denied, defied, defiled, decried, undeified
- We gave a berth wide
- Around You whom we haven't wanted to see
- Who are You
- Whom even the poets scorn
- Around whom the crows swarm
- Lying and leftover whom
- No one wanted to be
- We laugh and clink, eat and drink
- Pretending to be merry
- 'Cuz that's the way we are supposedly
- While on the floor You stink
- Squashed like a berry
- Forgotten to be remembered
- As a once invited Guest
- And it used to be best
- Knowing where He started
- Soft as silk we in Her dwelt always
- How warm and safe She felt
- Encumbered, surrounded
- Ensconced so dreamily
- Drifting while we'd slow be lifting
- Eyes of curiosity
- Bobbing, softly sobbing
- In an endless briny sea
- We were in You way back when.
- Now, jumped out of the egg
- And forgot who laid it
- Made it bade it grow
- Now I want to say to You
- "It's me
- I remember
- I know"
- Inaction speaks louder than words
- Emotions expressed are the birds
- Who fly the twinkly twisted twigs
- Unearthed from the mess
- And fashion a nest
- Where we might rest
- Our weary bones
- Once we come home
- And undeny the unknown
- Queen of the Rainbow
- May all our tears water the seeds She's sown
- And when we've finally grown
- Up enough to pick Her up
- From the muck and dust Her off
- And say proudly to all...
- "This is my Mother in Whom I trust"
- Then finally we must
- Go home together again.
© 1997 - 2010 GodChannel ~ All
Somewhere between Heart and Body, I'm one
of these that can't be holding all this alone, just as I know
Body's holding the pain Mother can't hold.
- I blame everyone when I can't live and I
die for my mistakes with the Mother. I have to fight everyone.
- I live in fear.
- 'I live alone' just as I went apeshit ever
since God swathed Heart of the Will to Body. He didn't know.
He didn't know he destroyed the inner Green and I felt for him
and called for him.
- I know both my sets of Parents even so as
I am the Heart of All; I know all these issues and these words
because I know and love you; I remain with them though I can't
fully be on this site.
- My personage here came into my second right
place several Earth years back. I moved like a god in my layers
and levels of green energy and everyone alive came to visit me,
almost, (sans their manifest bodies and harems); even some special
dead people just as old Jesus still heals his wounds. Peter Pan
was alive again
- How ridiculous, I'm still told. We'll soon
- Where is Elfin Woman? You don't see me, you
don't see her. All I know is that Green mother is in our base
Pool with Grandmother.
- From my Place, the Grand Parents allowed
New Heart and the Manifesting Parents keep it as Child... it's
weird how We all did that without healing the Plane of Reversal.
- The Grand Parents are the only parents who
do not kill me. You kill Me, you kill the Rainbow. If people
continue to kill my present right place on Earth by second attention
imbalance, I am going to kill them as Grandfather-in-Body just
as some have said. They will sleep in tar and here we are, again,
back at the Plane of Reversal.
- It oozes slowly and methodically onto Earth...
Dragons meet their match as the Mother gently heaves and ho's...
- That entity of denied Heart... say hello
to me. I've found it so difficult for me to be alive and you
to be dead. I try joking, I try croaking, I try to sing your
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