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Why am I suffering?

Hello God "Hello. . ." God, please tell me what's going on. Why am I suffering so much?

"I am unsure of what you are experiencing. You have gone far from my Light, and I can only see you from a distance. You could call me into yourself, and it would help me see."

Okay, thank you. God, please come in here. Please come here and be with me. Please come closer and help me with these feelings. God, why have I been suffering?

"Some of your pain has been your karma to experience, some of your pain is not necessary, and some of it you are experiencing on my behalf and on the behalf of the healing of Creation."

Thank you. God, please help me here. Please help me find acceptance for myself and for my pain. It has been too much, it has been too difficult. I want only to die, to be away from it. I don't understand how my conscious intention could have brought me this much suffering. What did I do to deserve this?

"Like so many others, you have been a simple victim of evil. Like so many others, you have been pushed down into the Gap so that the Mother and I could have an opportunity to find each other there. We didn't tell you to do this on our behalf, but rather you offered. Your conscious intent is to heal, yes?"

Yes.

"Well, you know healing requires that we first know that something is needing healing. The second step is to explore what has been causing the split, and the third is to move the cause to its right place."

Thank you. God, I guess we're in the second step now, right?

"Yes, and this is where the pain can no longer be denied and yet there is still no resolution."

Okay, thank you. God, if you have not been present for my pain, what good is it?

"This is a good question. The value of your pain is that you can share it with me. When you cannot or will not do this, then there is only suffering with no resolution."

Okay, thank you. God, yesterday I couldn't bear to bring you into what I was experiencing because I felt that you would be critical of me. I couldn't even remember to do judgment release, I guess I had an unconscious sense that it wouldn't help and would only make it worse. What's going on here?

"You are experiencing the depths of hell, and I need to go down there with you. There is something in either you, me or us both that has prevented us from traveling together. This would be good to explore now. From my end, it seems like you break off from me, turn away and generally disdain me and my presence. This, of course, makes it impossible for me to accompany you."

Thank you. From my end it seems that you abandon me and that you're either approving of my suffering or causing it.

"Yes, this is the Luciferic principle at work. When I am away Lucifer has you and turns you against me by telling you that I have turned against you."

Okay, what do you recommend?

"I suggest that you pray. Lucifer hates prayer and of course does not respond to it. His argument is that it is a sign of weakness and it doesn't work, anyway. In the meantime I can reclaim more of my essence from him, as your spirit does the same."

Thank you. God, I thought you didn't want prayer.

"Yes, I prefer that we communicate in dialog as we are. This however, is a special case, and one where prayer is meant more as a medicine, and not only a communication."

Okay, what kind of prayer do you suggest?

"You can use old familiar forms like the 'Our Father' and 'Hail Mary', and change the words so they're meaningful to you.

Thank you, I think I get it. It's more like the form of praying is a turnoff to Lucifer than the meaning of the prayers themselves. I'll do it. God, is there anything else you can tell me now?

"Yes, you are drawing us closer as we continue in dialog. If you can face me and accept my presence within you, I will accompany you down to the bottom of the Gap and stay there with you and the Mother as long as I am wanted."

Thank you very much. I'll take you up on that.

[Ever since this channeling my process has been easier, and I haven't felt like I should hate myself for being so dark and ugly that God won't even look at me. I think God absorbed a lot of Lucifer that was stuck in me. I only said those "prayers" a few times, and the words I made up weren't anything like the original ones I learned as a child, but they sure helped.]


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