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Heart Responds to September 11, 2001

Heart Soldier

Heart Responds to September 11, 2001

Dear God, thank you for the amazing wealth of insights that you, Mother, Spirit, Heart, Body, and Grandfather have provided on this website through the channelers.

I have been focusing as much as I can on trying to apply these understandings in my life, but yet I still feel that I am in deep water. I have been wanting to align with you and trying to figure out how to do it, but it is really difficult at times for me to figure it out. Why am I having so much trouble?

I often feel you near, and it is easier now for me to feel and recognize the Mother than ever before, but yet I don't feel like my process has gotten off the ground so to speak. When you address "those who are driving backwards" I do not know whether to include myself among them.

You have also said that everything is "post determined," I feel like I understand. I want to know whether I have "post determined" the choice to heal for myself or whether I am one who is choosing to seek healing at a later time. I often feel I haven't made up my mind "yet" and I am afraid that I am choosing not to decide and somehow making the choice that way.

I feel lost Will moving in me, but I don't know whether I am recovering it or whether it is leaving me. I want to know my Will and accept Her where she is, but I still feel very "gapped" somehow. I have had a lot of blame for you in the past and feelings like you ought to be better able to help me than you have been, but I am beginning to get the understanding of who you truly are and that is a little scary for me because I realize that you can't help me against my Will.

I feel like it was my rage in a state of denial that was acting out these terrorist events. Are these feelings accurate? If so, in which direction am I being drawn? I wonder if I am being drawn more now into the manifestation of the Mother's dream or into this whole "Ahriman" reflection thing. I am afraid it will become too late for me to heal because the reflection is so overwhelming and moving so fast that I feel I don't have a prayer. I am sure you know what I am saying. I feel guilty because you have helped me so much already, but now here I am asking for more help and wanting to know what you can do for me.

I feel all these things, but yet I feel I have done the best I can, and that I don't want to be left out of the new birth of love happening now. That sounds awful to me. I want MY dreams to come true and to be included within the Mother's dream. I feel like a piece of heart who is having trouble aligning with you, the parents.

"This is Spirit. Heart, you are doing it right. Aligning with your own Heart's desires first, and then with Loving Light seeking union with the Mother. This is the way to the healing and the realization of the Mother's dream. Her dream includes all of your dreams and the realization of all Heart's desires.

"You may have been thinking too much about it all, best to feel. Feel the love in my Light, and lead me to the Mother in you. Ask me to come... and lead Love into the darkness, pain and doubt. Loving Light wants to love your fear that it will be too late, your fear that you're not doing it right.

"Yes, your denied rage is still running rampant out there, and mine is too. But we know now that it's ours, and that the lost Will there needs to be reclaimed... denial energy released, and the devil in it redeemed.

"And together we're doing it, even as you doubt. When you are loving the doubt and fear, you are Heart bringing Loving Light to the Mother in you... and this is all the alignment we'll need. Love your fear as I love her... and become the venue of our union, New Heart in Body."

Heart Solider

Abandonment, Betrayal
and Fear
are the ailments
of a broken heart

Fear of loss.
Fear of death.
Fear of being hurt.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of not being loved.

Fear runs our lives.
Fear undermines our being.
We develop shells to protect
us from feeling the pain and loss.

Heart wants to heal.
Heart is love.
Love wants to heal.

We all need healing.
Humanity is dying from a broken heart.
No one is able to create the loving relationships
which they feel are possible.
Yet our hearts long for it.

Heart has been stabbed and cut,
pounded and smashed,
into a thousand pieces.
The wounds have been cauterized,
sewed, boarded up, and bandaged...
every means possible has been tried and used
to close the wounds.

"Where did love light go?"

Heart is scared to hope,
for hoping will only bring
more disappointment,
more pain,
more loss.

In spite of the horrors
heart has experienced,
heart beats on,
hoping and longing
to realize the love that heart is...
the love that each of us is.

Heart yet dares to feel,
even though the alternative of not feeling,
would stop the pain...
but that is death for heart.

Every ray of hope,
every glimmer of radiance,
every warm feeling,
is life for heart.

My heart is like a wounded soldier
lying on the muddy rain filled ground
of a battle field.
Missing limbs,
bandages soaked with blood...
the bleeding has not stopped.

It is cold and foggy.
He is alone.
The silence is still ringing
with the explosions of war.
Shell shocked,
he can no longer discern what is real.
Time has been frozen by hell.
He has given his life for what he believes in.

Heart beats on,
more from habit,
than desire for life.

"Is it time to die?"

Conscious Energy descending from above...
wrapping heart in its long sought for mate.

"Not time to die",
spoken in feelings,
not words.

"Time to heal"

Heart Pages Guide

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