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Part One: Healing Through Feeling - Mother's Voice
Part Two: God, Accept My Rage - Mother Speaks to Spirit Polarity
Part Three: Mother and Father in Heart - Conception of Love
Part Four: The Old God (Consciousness) in You Needs to be Updated
- A Therapy for Attachment to Spiritual Values
Part Five: Let the New God In - Healing through Understanding
Part Six: God's "Falling" into Love - The Awakening of Heart
Responses to Healing the Invisible You
Channelers' note: This contribution is unusual for several reasons, including its length and the variety of voices and expression. It is a powerful piece of work that reads best as a single experience. Unusual spacing allows the liberal use of the scroll bar while reading on screen, (and it's okay to begin scrolling before the page is fully loaded). The material in this contribution is highly emotional and often inflammatory, it can have a profound triggering and healing effect.
...Your expressions - love or hate - are teaching Me
something about Mother and You, Heart.
I need to hear them to evolve!
One of the dimensions of the purpose of this material is to unlock the old "rooms" of suppressed emotions and unresolved concerns that exist now as a dead weight in the body, blocking and impairing circulation on many levels and in many different ways, making the body stagnant and prone to disease, especially inside these blocked areas. When an individual relives these emotions, he is vibrating these stagnant areas again and releasing the unmoving physical or vibrational matters while NOT JUST VENTILATING but now understanding the process, witnessing it and accepting these matters with his own consciousness fully and unconditionally, which brings him to a new level of health and well-being.
This material is not just information - it has the energy BEHIND THE INFORMATION; it works throughout and around the person's etheric bodies and it needs time to make the emotions vibrate in the physical body. So take your time when reading this, because the deeper your emotions are during the reading, the deeper you let this energy penetrate, "massage" and enliven the decaying matter of the inner planes of your being. If you intend to just quickly go through it and read it only with your mind, without feeling it emotionally, don't waste your time. This material is not for those who are looking for a mental exercise or for another "interesting concept". This is a therapy session and it's intended for those who are in ceaseless pain and who want to heal it and learn how to heal it.
This release is not a painless process, either. During the healing period the person might experience some physical or emotional pains or discomforts surfacing to be "discharged" and that might create some temporary problems or conflicts with the person's immediate surroundings, especially if the emotional experience or its depth is not catching up with information consumed. For that reason it is important, even crucial, for the person doing this kind of deep healing work to BE AWARE OF THESE "SIDE EFFECTS" AND CONSCIOUSLY ACCEPT all the "craziness" of these emotional matters without judging them or becoming them in any way but only giving them his consciousness' love and understanding (just as the thoughtful husband would do with his wife).
This and other channelings have many levels of depth and width and THE MORE ONE CAN EXPERIENCE THEM EMOTIONALLY, THE DEEPER THE LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING ONE CAN REACH and the wider the angle of one's vision of reality can be. Also, it is important to understand that this material is a living organism; it is constantly changing and it will be periodically updated to make it in line with the present moment.
If something in you keeps postponing doing this kind of work, or if something interferes with it, it might mean that you are not ready for it yet. The best time to read this material is when a person is going through personal difficulties or some sort of emotional turbulence. The healing process is much more effective at that time.
When the new paragraphs start with quotes, it indicates that the Collective Being is speaking and when it starts without the quotes it means that the fragment of It, which I am, is speaking. But it is best to approach it in a non-logical way because sometimes both or all voices are speaking as one, so just take it in a non critical way and if you see some imperfections in the text take it as a therapy for your attachment to perfection (a half-joke).
Healing Through Feeling
Part One of Six
Attention, reader! Shallow, conceptual, emotionless
and apathetic reading of this material may have little
or no healing effect. Please do not skip repetitions
and redundancies. They, along with uncommon
punctuation, are important and intentional.
Thank you, reader for getting along with my not being logical and grammatically precise.
There is no logic here.
There is a feeling.
There is a logic inside the feeling.
While hopelessness and uselessness ease their grip on me, I rush to put together some of my channeled material to make it available and accessible to those who need it. There is some feeling of urgency about it as if it is kind of getting late - the next contribution is already nipping at my heels! I hear the Mother moaning and groaning in me every day to do something to bring Her messages to Spirit Polarity as soon as possible, messages that might bring us to another level of understanding, questions, answers and practices.
I feel a tremendous, almost unbearable pull on me to write, sing, scream - whatever! - these messages that are buzzing endlessly through me and more so now, when they sense a teeny little opening for them to get out, to be heard, manifest, live - they are all awakening from the dead and lifting up their boney hands to me to pull them out from their utterly dark existence.
I finally found the strength (or the weakness?) I needed to trust and follow my own intuition and desire (thank you, GodChannel.com!), I quit whatever "worldly" jobs I had left out there and gave in to these desperate voices. Yes, I'm going to write, scream and shout these voices and I'm going to work my ass off to deliver them, because I feel, I just know, that THIS IS MY JOB! - and always has been - and as long as I have whatever opening is out there for it and as long as I have whatever life is left in me, I'm going to do it no matter what - so help me God!
It takes a lot of daring on my part to try to be heard while feeling so broken and silenced in every way, living outside of the system, floating between worlds, not belonging to any of them. I was born in the Caucasus Mountain region of the former USSR; English is my third or maybe fifth language and I have no computer skills or soul around to help me with it.
Some of my channelings were written a while ago, but I let them just gather dust because I didn't see anybody that might be interested in looking into them and then, when I discovered GodChannel I couldn't find anybody able to help me to translate these messages into a verbal form. Aside from having a language problem, I stumbled into a difficulty with transferring Mother's "simple but complex" understandings into words.
I actually experienced words as being so limited without accompanying music and rhythm of the speaking voice, that I found myself "inventing" new words and punctuation in an effort to be as close to the original as possible. I know that I'm way behind in getting this out to the reader - I had to actually hire someone to speed up the process - but even that was nearly impossible to accomplish!
No matter what I do or how much I try - I end up with nothing or less. It all makes me want to ask Spirit - are you sure you want to help Mother? Is someone here (or somewhere) going to help me to deliver Mother's voice? Or are you all going to act out the same old program of killing Mother so you can then sit in peace and quiet, and discuss further about helping Her? She is rapidly losing things She can speak with - is that what you are all waiting for?
EXPRESSIONS HERE ON THIS SITE ARE A NECESSARY BALANCE FOR SPIRIT WORK
Did I just hear that this site is not a place for expressions of feelings and emotions?
I have lived on three continents and still I have no home. This site feels like one - it gives me hope that Love and Life are possible and I would do everything to make it true. But why do I have a persistent feeling that we are missing me on this site?
"I feel that if I will sing and be heard by others like me we won't die. Screaming alone has little power. The power of aloneness is not enough to break out of my grave and unglue my mouth. But when I know they hear me - I can scream their voices too! And then we synchronize... .....And you know what that means.... (Imagine the power of "Act Your Rage" open mike clubs all over the country with TV exposure. Well... they're already there... They're called Comedy Clubs...)
Let me tell you what happened to me while I was reading the reader's contribution "I'm enraged". I experienced a thick emotional splash (thank you, contributor!) which unglued the clots of old stuff in me that I was unable to access otherwise - and propelled them up-and-out. It gave me a push I needed to get out of my "zombiness", IT MADE ME FEEL(!), it moved me back to breathing when I was dangerously numb and frozen as if I had been given a shot of anesthesia. It made me feel the pain, and the pus, and the scream of that place where the question "WHERE IS THE MOTHER?" was buried. Yes, I did find that place in me, "unjailed" it, gave it a voice - and then, so many things sprung out of that emotional movement!
Are you sure this site is not a place for expressions of emotions?
FEELING IS PRACTICING. UNDERSTANDING AND NOT FEELING IS A DISEASE.
We are trying so hard to stir, to enliven our dying emotions through music, movies, food, relationships, pain - why not through this site? If not here, where? While God gives us a lot of THEORY - reading and feeling (!) these expressions full of agony and blood can be an indispensable PRACTICE, a necessary balance to that theory. It can be THE meditation. The more you load the mind, the more it takes to balance it with emotional movement; otherwise, these unexpressed emotions may manifest themselves as illnesses and other problems.
So, yes, there is such a thing as "too much consciousness". It's when the emotional experience can't catch up with it. And that's when mental illness strikes. It surely will balance itself anyway, but not in a way one would appreciate. Through addictions, for example, which can only be a desperate attempt to temporarily slow down, destabilize the overbearing conscious mind (and its aggression) and let the emotions slip out of its control at least for a moment and ventilate, unload, express themselves and, thus, achieve some balance between Mother's and Father's forces in the body, so that it can still go on and live. (Some psychiatric medications are doing just that.)
Or it can also be the other way around - the addiction can be a result of one's conscious mind not wanting or being unable to face the feelings that are arising from the subconscious - the Mother - and wants to elude them at all costs by taking in anything that can shut them down. It can be food, alcohol, drugs, TV, relationships, socializing, sex, pills - anything! Can you acknowledge that identical symptoms can have different causes? Can you see now why it might not be useful or helpful to prescribe the same pill for two headaches?
(...There must be a different prescription of behavioral medicine for people from different Polarities...)
AS LONG AS YOUR MIND IS SEEKING TO DOMINATE YOU
IT IS YOUR ENEMY AND MURDERER
And, yes, I will repeat again and again that expanding consciousness without balancing it with emotional movement even here on this site is a danger, a disease and the same old shit of hegemony and dominance of mind over the feelings! And as we already know, it results in loss of consciousness anyway.
Unless the information itself is so emotionally charged that it balances itself out, it will throw the reader into increasingly severe problems that are stemming from mind/emotion imbalance.
The only thing that might be needed here is to categorize it in a way that everyone will find what he is ready for at the moment - the THEORY or the PRACTICE - to study it or experience it, to think it or feel it, to observe or participate!!!
And now to balance that theory too, I'll show you what came forth during my emotional splash caused by the contribution "I'm enraged." But first read this:
WE ARE ALL DUMPERS AND DUMPED ON
...at the same time. It's a pyramid structure - whoever is on the bottom has no place to "dump". People from the Lower Chakras of the Body of Earth are in the worst condition and have no choice but to go to war upon their dumpers. That means that the "bad" people who are holding rejected matter will fight against their dumpers, the "good" people. Because these so-called good people became good by rejecting and projecting their "negativity" outside themselves and it lands downward, on people located on the Lower CHAKRA regions of the Big Body. And the only way these "good people" can prevent being attacked and wiped out by their own "badness" is to accept that badness back, acknowledge it, "un-judge" it and enlighten it by giving it their understanding, acceptance and love.
Be kind to these people from the Lower Chakras. You know very well who they are. You feel and recognize them as the "lower than you."
"To Fight" with "badness" has only one purpose: to learn how you created it
and how you can now uncreate it.
We are talking mostly about Mother Polarity people here. Their "bad" is not to be confused with the "bad" of Lucifer and Ahriman; these are cold, detached, emotionless, calculating creatures moved only by their rage, and always waiting for a perfect chance or excuse to attack. Their crimes are always premeditated and they are too smart and too quick to be caught easily. The only way to recognize Them is to sense Them, and the only way to resist Them is to keep your emotions alive.
RIGHT OR WRONG IS NOT THE POINT. HEALING IS.
Attention Spirit people, get ready to feel - not think or evaluate when reading the expressions. Your speed reading skills are not useful here. This and other emotionally charged materials should not only be read, they should be experienced and relived - and not just once. If you noticed that you are getting too critical or tend to be preoccupied with right or wrong, "I agree" or "I disagree" sort of things - try to switch, read it with your feeling part first, and THEN with your mind - or you might be missing the point here (and a healing effect too!). To be right is not the point here. Sometimes a "wrong" thing is exactly what it takes to stir or activate the right place and to bring it to the surface. Let the "wrong" trigger you into your emotions, into your numb frozen places, into decaying matter that may rot the whole body away if unattended. LET THE WRONG BE RIGHT FOR YOU. Let it be in pain but alive...
IF YOU FEEL YOUR PAIN YOU CAN BE HEALED!!
So sit back, don't waste your breath judging, evaluating, forming opinions when exposed to any kind of emotional matter. Read slowly, hear the intonation of the voice speaking and feel it! Remember, the sophistication is within simplicity - not outside it. When moved emotionally, don't go past that, slow down or stop reading for a moment. Relax, go into your feelings, don't hold back even a bit, let them reach you, let them get to you, experience them as thoroughly as you can, cry or laugh or make some sounds or movements if you feel like it, express them in every way your mind can find out for you. Get that cold, arrogant light of Lucifer and Ahriman out of you, or it will keep you enslaved and away from your Free Choice forever! Isn't it time to do YOUR WILL'S DESIRE - NOT YOUR MIND'S DESIRE, for a change? Can you feel the difference?
.....So go ahead and have a nice "trip"!
FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT FEEL IT
WHEN YOU SPEAK AND NO ONE HEARS YOU
"I'll write and I'll scream and I'll question - until I fall breathless into hopelessness again. 'Cause THIS SITE IS MY PLACE!, my only home! And if it isn't, it only means one thing: that this site is another Ahrimanic bait, another "almost God" presence that is using the truth to invade and possess me from inside! I want to be heard, I want to give my Song a Body - here on this site, or - can You show me another place to be? Life has never been for me - do You really think You can change it with a motionless and emotionless "Running Energy Exercise"?
You are so amazingly bright - how come You still didn't invite at least one good Mother-Heart presence to teach You some stuff here? I don't feel and I don't understand the word "Light", it sounds so corny, so gutless, so "spiritual" and so used and misused to me - I can almost puke when I hear it! It feels like hopelessly being in love with someone who is torturing you viciously while looking right into your very eyes - and doesn't have a clue he's doing it! - but only asking in bewilderment: why doesn't she love Me?
How can I love, when I perceive love as the Beginning of the End!? A beautiful Beginning of the horrible End?... And can You please, help me to figure out HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I SURVIVE BOTH - being in love with You so deeply and infinitely and at the same time be disgusted with You and despise You to such a degree, that I need to do a "vomiting exercise"!?.......Move, You said?!... How can I move when I am surrounded by a thick, suffocating layer of nothingness that separates and disconnects me from everything that moves and lives, where I can't help but just fall into a zombie-like state where only nothingness exists! .....I'm forced to live like a witch in the woods and if someone makes it through it's only to devour the Love in me that I harbored through such deadly pains and losses....
...Every kind of emotional workout opens me up in every way and sexually too and I need to numb, kill, repress, fight my own sexuality, my own Desire - it is impossible to live feeling this constant fall into the abyss, this black void, this nothingness, this emptiness, this hunger for something that doesn't exist!... My men have never showed up and I don't know how to Make Love without having someone outside me - can You show me ANOTHER way to Make Love within myself that doesn't feel like punishment?
...I experience death and readiness to die every day and every moment, I would willingly become a prostitute to save the remains of life in me, but my ever impractical mind can't figure out how to accomplish even that!
How long can one sing into emptiness? How long can one masturbate in every way? How long can one live only in imagination? HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SPEAK AND NO ONE HEARS YOU?
(End of Part One. All six parts should be read consecutively and as a whole to have a healing effect.)